أسوأ الأشياء التي يمكنك قولها لشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب
أسوأ الأشياء التي يمكنك قولها لشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب
عندما يصاب شخصًا تحبه وتهتم به بالاكتئاب، فإنك تحاول جاهدًا الوقوف بجانبه وتقديم العون والمساندة، لكن أحيانًا تأتي هذه المساندة بنتائج سلبية وتزيد الأمر سوءًا وأنت لا تشعر، خصوصًا إذا لم تكن على دراية كافية بالاكتئاب والمرض النفسي. لذلك يجب توخي الحظر عندما تقدم دعمًا لشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب وذلك حتى لو كانت الرسائل التي تقدمها له واضحة ومنطقية بالنسبة لك، وتفيدك في لحظات حزنك، فإن مردودها عليه قد لا يكون كذلك.. وبالطبع آخر ما تريده أن تشعره بمزيد من الحزن ورغبة في الانزواء وعدم المشاركة أكثر وأكثر. هذه أسوأ الأشياء التي يمكنك قولها لشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب، تجنبها.
“حاول بجد أكبر”
وجود شخص يطلب منك أن تحاول بجد أكبر عندما تبذل أنت بالفعل قصارى جهدك، يمكن أن يكون محبطًا وقد يجعل الشخص المصاب بالاكتئاب يشعر بأن وضعه ميئوس منه، أو يحمل نفسه مزيدًا من اللوم لعدم قدرته على بذل أكثر وهذا يفاقم الأمور.
هناك أسباب عديدة لتطور الاكتئاب ولا يمكن للشخص بالضرورة التحكم في جميع عوامل الخطر التي ينطوي عليها. بمجرد أن يصبح الشخص مكتئبًا، فليس الأمر مجرد “تحدث عن نفسك” أو أنه يعاني من بعض المزاج المنخفض.. الاكتئاب يمكن أن يحدث لأن الجسم لا ينتج ما يكفي من المواد التي يحتاجها ليعمل بشكل صحيح. وبالمثل ، فإن الشخص الذي يعاني من الاكتئاب بسبب انخفاض مستويات الناقلات العصبية لا يمكنه ببساطة “التفكير” في امتلاك المزيد.
لا تضغط على الشخص المصاب بالاكتئاب حتى لو كانت نواياك طيبة، الأفضل أن تقدر ما يفعله وتجعله يقدره، حتى لو كان يقوم بأبسط الأشياء، لأنها بالنسبة له ليست بسيطة على الإطلاق.
“ابتهج”
ممارسة التفكير الإيجابي أمر له جوانب مهمة وانعكاسات على جودة الحياة بالطبع، لكن مع مرضى الاكتئاب لا يكون الأمر بهذه السهولة مع الأسف. عندما تطلب من الشخص المكتئب أن يبتهج فإنه يشعر بمزيد من العجز لأنه غير قادر على التحكم فيما يشعر به، وحتى الابتسامة الزائفة تتطلب مجهود وطاقة قد لا يمتلكهما من الأساس.
“لكنك لا تبدو مكتئبا!”
كيفية ظهور الشخص من الخارج لا تعكس بالضرورة ما يشعر به من الداخل. وينطبق هذا على العديد من الأمراض النفسية. ليس من غير المألوف للأشخاص الذين يعانون من الاكتئاب والقلق أن يحاولوا جاهدين “وضع وجه جيد” وإخفاء ما يشعرون به من الآخرين. قد يكونوا محرجين أو مرتبكين أو مذنبين أو خجولين أو خائفين مما قد يحدث إذا اكتشف الآخرون أنهم مكتئبون. قد يشعرون بالقلق من أنهم سيُنظر إليهم على أنهم غير أكفاء في العمل أو كآباء أو كشركاء محتملين، وأن أصدقائهم سيتوقفون عن حبهم. يمكن أن تصبح هذه الأفكار شديدة للغاية، وفي الواقع، هي سمة من سمات الاكتئاب نفسه – على الرغم من أنها لا تعكس الواقع.
فقط لأن شخصًا مكتئبًا يحاول التستر على مشاعره، فهذا لا يعني أنه بخير حال. كما أن الحديث عما يمر به يتطلب شجاعة، وإذا وجد أنه هناك شك فيما يقول فقد يجعله يشعر بأن الحديث عن اكتئابه ليس آمنًا، كما يمكن أن يجعله يشك في نفسه وهذا أسوأ ما يمكنك فعله له.
“لا يمكن أن يكون بهذا السوء” أو “يمكن للأمر أن يكون أسوأ”
عندما تتحدث إلى صديق يعاني من الاكتئاب أو يمر بوقت عصيب، قاوم إغراء مقارنة الألم. تذكر أن الألم (العاطفي والجسدي) ليس فقط غير موضوعي ولكنه نسبي وهو فقط من يشعره به.
يفتقر الأشخاص المصابون بالاكتئاب إلى الموارد الداخلية اللازمة للتعامل مع الإجهاد بطريقة فعالة وصحية. بالنسبة لك، قد يبدو حدثًا أو موقفًا يشكل مصدر إزعاج بسيط ولا يتطلب كل هذا الألم وتعرف بالظبط ما يجب فعله، لكنه بالنسبة لشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب شبكة معقدة للغاية وشعور مكبل وعقبة كبيرة لا يمكنه التغلب عليها بهذه السهولة.
ربما بالفعل الشخص هذا قد مر بلحظات أسوأ، لكنه الآن في تلك اللحظة الحالية ولا يمكنه إجراء مقارنات لن تفيد إلا في تعقيد الأمور أكثر، نعلم أنك تحاول المساعدة، لكنك أيضًا لا تعرف مقدار الألم الحقيقي الذي يشعر به.
لذلك من الأفضل تجنب إجراء مقارنات أو تنظيم “منافسة” لمن يشعر بالأسوأ. القيام بذلك ليس مفيدًا ويمكن أن يجعل الشخص المصاب بالاكتئاب يشعر أنك تقلل من خبرته أو لا تستمع حقًا لما يقوله لك.
“كل هذا في رأسك فقط” أو “إنه خطأك”
بينما يحدث نقص في المواد المنظمة للمزاج من الناحية التقنية في مخ الشخص المصاب بالاكتئاب، تميل عبارة “كل هذا في رأسك” إلى الانتقاص منه، والأشخاص الذين يسمعون هذه العبارة قد يشعرون أيضًا بالهجوم، كما لو أنهم متهمون “باختلاق” أو الكذب حول ما يشعرون به.
علاوة على ذلك، لا يكون الاكتئاب في كثير من الأحيان في رأس شخص ما فحسب، بل في جسده أيضًا. هناك العديد من الأعراض الجسدية للاكتئاب، بما في ذلك الألم المزمن، وهي حقيقية جدًا. والاكتئاب حالة طبية لا يمكن توقع تحسنها بدون علاج.
نعم هناك بعض عوامل الخطر القابلة للتعديل –نظريًا- ومن خلال تغييرات نمط الحياة التي يمكن أن يكون لها تأثير على الأعراض، ولكن ببساطة إخبار شخص مصاب بالاكتئاب “بالخروج أكثر”أو “المحاولة وعدم الاستسلام” أو التوصية بتغييرات في نمط الحياة قد لا يكون مستعدًا لها، قد يكون غير مفيد أيضًا ويمكن أن تجعل أعراض الاكتئاب أكثر إرهاقًا.
“من يهتم؟”
عندما يكون الشخص مكتئبًا، ففي الغالب يحمل مشاعر الذنب والعار. قد يشعر أنه عبء على الناس في حياتهم، وهذه المشاعر يمكن أن تجعل الاكتئاب أسوأ وقد تؤدي حتى إلى أفكار انتحارية أو سلوكيات إيذاء الذات.
شيء بديهي أن يكون التقليل من ألم شخص آخر ليس مفيدًا، وبالنسبة للأشخاص الذين يتعاملون مع الاكتئاب، يمكن أن يكون مؤذًا وضارًا جدًا.
وعندما تهتم بشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب، يمكنك قول أشياء مؤذية عندما تشعر بالإحباط أو القلق. إذا وجدت نفسك تفكر “من يهتم؟” عندما تستمع إلى شخص عزيز عليك، أعلم أنها قد تكون علامة على إحتراقك، لذلك يجب أن تأخذ وقتًا لنفسك لتهتم بها حقًا حتى يمكنك تقديم الدعم الصحيح فيما بعد.
“أنا لا أفهم”
حتى لو كنت تعاني من الاكتئاب بنفسك، فقد تختلف تجربتك عن تجربة شخص آخر. وإذا لم تكن مصابًا بالاكتئاب، فقد يكون من الصعب عليك التعاطف. وفي كلتا الحالتين، إذا كان الشخص الذي تحبه مكتئبًا، فإن أفضل شيء يمكنك القيام به هو أن تكون منفتحًا ومستعدًا للتعلم.
بدلاً من إنهاء المحادثة بقول “أنا فقط لا أفهم” – أو القول أنك تفهم عندما لا تفعل ذلك حقًا- ابدأ بطمأنة الشخص العزيز عليك بأنك تهتم به وأنك ستكون معه دائمًا وأنك على استعداد للاستماع له دائمَا.
“هذا سيمر” “دع الأمور تمضي”
في حين أن هذا قد يكون صحيحًا، فإن الشخص المكتئب قد لا يكون لديه المنظور الضروري لاستقبال الفكرة – ناهيك عن تصديقها. لا تقول له الكليشيهات والعبارات الغامضة المحفوظة بدافع تحفيز الأمل لديه لأنه في الغالب لا يشعر بها. فقد يجد الشخص المكتئب صعوبة في تخيل المستقبل لأنه غارق بالحاضر. كما أنه ليس من السهل أيضًا “ترك” أو “الهروب من” الماضي، خاصةً بالنسبة لشخص تعرض لفقدان أو صدمة.
أنت قد تشعر وكأنك تقدم الأمل بقولك أن الأمور ستتحسن في النهاية، لكن الشخص المكتئب قد يشعر بالإحباط ويتساءل عن المدة التي يجب أن ينتظرها.
وبدلًا من دفعهم للتركيز على المستقبل أو نسيان الماضي، ابذل قصارى جهدك لتتواجد معهم في الوقت الحالي. فقط اجلس معهم وحاول ألا تقلق بشأن قول الشيء الصحيح أو الخطأ: قد تجد أن أكثر شيء مفيد يمكنك فعله هو الاستماع بصدق بدون أن تدفعهم لفعل شيء لا يحبون فعله، لأن من الأفضل دائمًا أن تخرج الأفعال والمبادرات منهم بشكل شخصي لا أن يجبروا عليها.. كن صبورًا وصادقًا.
الاعتناء بشخص مصاب بالاكتئاب ليس أمرًا سهلًا، لكن وجودك بجواره قد يسهل الأمور كثيرًا، خصوصًا عندما تكون منفتحًا أكثر ولا تستعجل فرض ما تراه صحيحًا من وجهة نظرك. نعم من الصعب العثور على كلمات مفيدة لشخص يشعر بالاكتئاب. لذلك لا تخف من قول “لست متأكدًا مما أقوله الآن”. كن على علم بأن الكلمات الصحيحة يمكن أن تحدث فرقًا كبيرًا. وأنك إن لم تكن حذرًا، فقد تضر كلماتك أكثر مما تنفع.. ودائمَا تشجيع الشخص المصاب بالاكتئاب للحصول على العلاج النفسي، سيكون أمرًا جيدًا لأن ذلك هو الطريق الصحيح، مع العلم أن يكون ذلك بإرادته أيضًا وبدون إجبار.. ولا تنس أن شيزلونج توفر مجموعة كبيرة من الأطباء والأخصائيين عند بعد، ويمكنك حجز الجلسة أونلاين من هنا
ويمكنك أيضا نصح الاخرين بإجراء بعض الاختبارات النفسية المقدمة من موقع شيزلونج بطريقة علمية، معتمدة وموثوقة.
شكرا جدااااا بجد المقال مفيد جداااااا و بتمني أن كلنا نتعامل بيه جزاكم الله كل خير
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