Depression is a serious mental health condition that can deeply affect a person’s life. It’s important to recognize that depression goes beyond just feeling sad or down; it’s a complex illness that requires both support and understanding. If you know someone who is struggling with depression, there are meaningful ways you can offer help.

Research from 2017 indicates that strong social connections can significantly reduce the risk of depression. Social support, especially from family, acts as a protective factor against depression and anxiety.

Learning how to communicate with someone living with depression can be an effective way to support them. While reaching out may not cure their depression, social support can remind them that they’re not alone. This can be difficult for someone to believe when they are depressed, but it can also be extremely valuable during a crisis.

Signs That Someone May Be Depressed

Depression can manifest differently in each person, and symptoms can vary widely. If your friend is dealing with depression, they might:

• Seem unusually sad or tearful.
• Appear more pessimistic or hopeless about the future.
• Frequently talk about feeling guilty, empty, or worthless.
• Show less interest in spending time together or communicate less often than they normally would.
• Get upset easily or display unusual irritability.
• Have lower energy levels, move slowly, or seem generally lethargic.
• Pay less attention to their appearance or neglect basic hygiene, such as showering or brushing their teeth.
• Struggle with sleep, either having trouble sleeping or sleeping much more than usual.
• Lose interest in activities and hobbies they usually enjoy.
• Experience more frequent forgetfulness, or have difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
• Eat significantly more or less than usual.
• Talk about death or suicide.

How to Help Someone with Depression?

These tips can guide you in providing support to a friend who is dealing with depression:

1. Initiate a Conversation

Let your friend know that you’re there for them by starting a conversation. You can express your concerns and ask a specific, open-ended question to encourage them to share.

For example, you might say:

“It seems like you’ve been going through a tough time lately. What’s on your mind?” “The last few times we hung out, you seemed a bit down. Is there something you’d like to talk about?”

Your friend may not feel ready to open up the first time you ask, so it’s important to keep showing that you care. Continue asking gentle, open questions (without pressuring them) and expressing your concern. Whenever possible, have these conversations in person. If distance is an issue, try video chatting to maintain that personal connection.

2. Assist Them in Finding Support

Your friend might not realize they’re dealing with depression, or they may be unsure how to seek help.

Even if they understand that therapy could be beneficial, the process of finding a therapist and scheduling an appointment can feel overwhelming.

If your friend shows interest in counseling, offer to help them research potential therapists. You can assist them in listing questions to ask and topics they want to bring up in their first session.

Providing encouragement and support in making that initial appointment can be incredibly helpful, especially if they’re struggling to take that step on their own.

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3. Encourage Them to Stick with Therapy

On difficult days, your friend may not feel up to leaving the house. Depression can drain energy and heighten the urge to self-isolate.

If they mention something like, “I think I’m going to cancel my therapy appointment,” gently encourage them to keep the commitment.

The same applies to medication. If your friend expresses a desire to stop taking their medication due to unpleasant side effects, be supportive, but also encourage them to discuss alternative options with their psychiatrist, such as switching to a different antidepressant or considering discontinuing medication under medical guidance.

4. Prioritize Your Own Well-Being

When someone you care about is struggling with depression, it can be tempting to put everything else aside to support them. While it’s natural to want to help a friend, it’s equally important to take care of your own needs.

5. Practice Patience

While depression often improves with treatment, the process can be gradual and may require some trial and error. Your friend might need to explore different counseling methods or medications before finding one that effectively alleviates their symptoms.

Even with successful treatment, depression may not completely disappear, and your friend could still experience symptoms occasionally.

During this time, they’re likely to have a mix of good and bad days. Avoid assuming that a good day means they’re “cured,” and try not to become frustrated if a series of bad days make it seem like they aren’t making progress.

6. Offer Assistance with Daily Tasks

For someone with depression, everyday tasks can feel overwhelming. Chores like laundry, grocery shopping, or paying bills can start to pile up, making it difficult to know where to begin.

If your friend is struggling with dishes, laundry, or other household chores, offer to come over, play some music, and tackle a specific task together. Just having someone there can make the work feel less intimidating.

References:

1. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/advice-for-life-situations-and-events/how-to-help-someone-with-depression/
2. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20045943
3. https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-help-a-depressed-friend#things-to-avoid
4. https://www.healthline.com/health/what-to-say-to-someone-with-depression#what-to-say
5. https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression-pictures/ways-to-help-loved-one-with-depression.aspx
6. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-dos-and-donts-for-supporting-someone-who-has-depression
7. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-to-say-to-someone-who-is-depressed
8. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/how-to-support-a-loved-one-with-depression